Writers are brilliant at conjuring up excuses for not writing. We have vivid imaginations, after all.
Sometimes the excuses well runs dry. Here I am, performing my public duty, with a list of extra excuses.
You’re welcome, you lazy git.
Twenty Excuses for not Writing
1.The wind is blowing in the wrong direction. Your creativity only works when it’s a north wind.
2. Your hand is aching from holding things. Holding things is hard work.
3. You’re thinking the thinks.
4. You’re waiting for a bestseller plot to drop into your brain. Writing anything else would be a waste of time.
5. Your muse is on holiday, probably a lengthy cruise.
6. It’s too early. Your brain hasn’t engaged yet.
7. It’s too late. Your brain is overwrought.
8. The cat is sad and needs your undivided attention.
9. The dog ate your laptop.
10. You need a nap because your best ideas happen when you’re sleeping.
11. You must watch a whole box set because you’ve never been a quitter.
12. Social media cannot function without you. You let Facebook be without you for a few minutes, once. The world was a poorer place for it.
13. You don’t want to use up all your writing talent in one hit.
14. Writing a shopping list is creative enough, particularly on your wages.
15. The world isn’t ready for your genius yet. You’re doing us all a favour by delaying it.
16. You wrote a book once. It was in 2008. You don’t want to overshadow it with another literary masterpiece.
17. There’s no chocolate in the house. You can’t write without chocolate.
18. There isn’t enough coffee.
19. You’ve had too much coffee.
20. You’re not really a writer. It’s a cover for your role as a secret agent.
Over to You
What are your favourite excuses for not writing?