Once again it’s a kitty cat takeover as the cat offers another post regarding her mewsings on life *bangs head on desk at piss poor punnage*. Today it’s all about napping in ‘The Feegle Cat Chronicles’. Feegle cat; over to you oh wise kitten one. I’m off for a doze…
Since the Cat Slaves brought me home, they have come to appreciate the benefits of napping. Okay, who am I kidding? Cat Slave #1 had the art of napping covered years ago. She has been a student and now is a writer, after all.
I expect you uber-dedicated, working all hours of the day, blogging and writing power-houses will be horrified, not only at being told to nap but the audacity of a feline to tell you to do so.
A writer and blogger advocating taking a rest when we should always, always be writing and promoting? The very cheek of me. But hear me out…
‘Napping’ is Not a Dirty Word
You aren’t a loser if you’re a napper. In fact, you’re a champion. You’re doing what many others wish they were doing but are too afraid to venture into. Snoozing is not losing.
If you’re a kipper, that’s a snoozer not a stinky fish, you, my friend are a boss of the resting game. Fishy kippers are good too. Cat treats are always welcome particularly the oceanic variety.
Don’t Be a Baby
One of life’s great mysteries is why babies fight sleep. Many a parent has torn out hair, limbs and anything else dangling, in despair at their patently knackered sprog fighting sleep.
Don’t be a baby. If your body demands kip, let it have what it wants. No one likes a grown up cry baby.
When I feel a kip coming on I let it happen, right where I happen to be standing. I have perfected the ‘falling into napping’ pose to a high degree. You may want to find a bed or chair though. Long jumping over humans is far more awkward than stepping over the sleeping cat.
Napping is Refreshing
It invigorates you if you squeeze in just the right amount of napping. I’m ready to take on the world after a snooze. Well, to take on my dinner, possibly bat a ball around, and then have a lie down. I don’t like to overdo it.
I’ve never been one for a short power nap. I’m an all or nothing kind of girl when it comes to napping. The cat slaves sometimes have to poke me to check I’m still breathing. I can’t understand what the issue is about with me napping for half the day. This is cat normal.
Have a power nap if you must and it makes you feel super bouncy afterwards, just don’t judge those of us who are all about the epic napping. I like to commit fully to all my endeavours.
Napping Makes You a Nicer Person
We have a policy in our house of making sure that a tired Lisa gets a nap in. Life can be a little, shall we say, unpleasant if she’s left too tired to function. Add in hunger and Cat Slave #2 and I know it’s time to shunt her off to bed with a Dairy Milk, shut the door and pray for world peace.
Napping makes grumpy pants people nicer. This is why I am always adorable; it’s the napping that makes me the prime example of kitten cuteness that I am today.
Napping Means Having a Cheeky Read
I fully recommend reading as a method of getting that nap going nicely. Curl up with a book and pave the way towards that land of daytime slumber.
I may not be able to hold a book or Kindle but I certainly like to help Lisa out with her reading before napping time. I’m not sure why she gets so ratty about me sitting in front of the book though. Humans are so needy.
Napping is Creative
Napping time means dreams. Dreams make ideas. Ideas go into writing. Therefore technically when you’re napping, a writer is never taking time off.
Some of my best ideas come from freaky dreams. Without napping I would never consider sitting in a box for hours as entertainment or eating slippers as a means of getting more fibre in my diet. My dreams told me to do it.
Napping is Bonding Time
Cats love napping with their humans. The second we get even the merest hint that you’re off for a kip we will be wrapped up round your body before you can even get into a decent sleeping position.
I appreciate that lying on your chest so you can’t breathe or sticking my bum on your head may not be conducive to sleep. However you signed up for this when you got a cat.
Napping is our territory and we will always insist on making sure that you are firmly ‘catted’ before you go to sleep.
Freshly Washed Bed Linen and PJs
I’m a big fan of freshly laundered bed clothes. They’re the best for stretching out in and layering with enough cat hair to knit a jumper.
On extra ‘special’ napping days when bowels aren’t being friendly, I’ve heard of cats ‘marking’ the bed territory. Such animals! I always check my butt is clean before I assume the napping position.
Humans, you have the added napping extra of fresh PJs. It’s true that there are clothes for cats out there but I will gouge your eyeballs out if you so much as think of putting anything on me. I look great in my fur coat anyway. Instead I will sleep as close to your PJs as possible. Now move over, you’re taking up too much space.
Napping Makes You Look Cute
You won’t be aware of it but those watching you nap will want to coo, stroke, and take endless photos of you. Oh, that just happens to cats does it? Humans, for goodness sake, I’m trying to sleep here!
It’s About Time I Was Napping
All this writing is wearing me out. You try typing with paws and claws. Let’s just say a replacement laptop may be in order *hides under the bed before Lisa sees*.
My work here is done. We should all be napping right about now. Lisa is starting to look a bit nap-twitchy after all.
I’m off to dream big, wake up roaring like a lion, and conquer the world one meow at a time.
P.S. If you’re wondering what universe you’ve stepped into where a cat is writing blog posts, here’s the background: 2017 According to the Cat: The Feegle Cat Chronicles