How to Raise a One-Year-Old Blog Baby

Happy Birthday Little Blog!

Today my blog is one year old! Somehow I have managed to blog on a weekly basis for one-whole-freaking-year. There was me thinking I was rubbish at sticking with this writing gig.

Grab appropriate drinks and food stuffs to celebrate along with me. You’re getting the first round in. It’s only fair after how I’ve kept you entertained over the past year *skulks away at her cheek and hopes you come back with a large alcoholic beverage*.

P.S. Baby memes added as shrewd and not at all desperate tactic to make you read this post.

My Blog is My Baby

Blog Baby One-Year-OldTherefore I will look at how a human type baby grows in the first year and check it against the developmental stages of my one-year-old blog. This will undoubtedly make me even more neurotic when I see how we have missed some essential milestones or I dropped the kid on its head and damaged it for life somewhere along the way.

Disclaimer: My parenting skills and expertise are a mixture of the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Count Olaf from Lemony Snicket, so please excuse anything that isn’t correct as far as sprogs go. Parenting bloggers, you have my new-found respect.

Conception

I’d like to say this was fun, as making babies is, so I’ve been told (a lady never discusses such matters). It kind of was in that I got a bit excited and jiggly about starting a blog, so kind of like the baby-making stuff, but I was also incredibly nervous too.

I talked myself out of it a few times before I even got started. Not like jiggy-jigs then. This is awkward. My family may be reading this. Moving on…

Birth

Blog Baby One-Year-Old 12 hours of labour babyOn 16th April 2016 I gave birth to a not so beautiful bouncing blog. Look, I know there are a lot of parents who when they see their child for the first time wonder if they can ask for a refund. No-one ever confesses that though do they?

When I see friends’ babies for the first time I desperately hope that it’s not an ugly bugger because I will have to use all my lying skills to coo over what looks like a shrivelled up old man in baby form. Think Benjamin Button.

My blog wasn’t pretty when it entered the world. My first entry makes me cringe a little at my worthiness: Placing Imagination at the Centre of My Life.

However, as with all first time parents, I’m proud when I look back on that day. Something began and it was a BIG something for me.

What On Earth Do You Do With It?

I’ve heard that when you take a baby home you often look at it and ask yourself ‘What the hell do I do with this thing?’ A new blog isn’t any different.

It took some time to find a routine that suited us both and to know what I was moulding this infant into being. Just like first time parents who buy every single baby book going trying to work out the instructions, I scoured the internet to work out how to blog. Then one day I stopped.

I decided that I could either tie myself up in knots stressing that I was bringing up my blog badly, or I could trust my instincts and do what worked for us. It’s a liberating feeling when you do.

Crying, Grizzling and Not Settling

Blog Baby One-Year-Old - you hurt my feelings…and that’s just me.

It hasn’t always been a harmonious process bringing up a blog. One or both of us has ended up wailing.

The blog kicks off because it feels it’s not getting all the love and attention it needs. I lose the plot because I feel guilty about the times I’ve seen raising it as a chore.

Come on parents, ‘fess up, you’ve sometimes not liked your kids very much have you? Please tell me it’s not only me!

Constant Feeding

My blog is a greedy guts. She often begs for more. More content, more love, more attention, more ideas…

She would have me performing feeds every minute of the day if she could. She has no respect for the fact that I have a personal life, oh and ficition writing too. It’s all about her and her constant hunger.

My blog often gets a case of the ‘hangry’. Just like the Hulk, you wouldn’t like her when she gets like that.

Regurgitation, Wind and Burping

Also known as ‘This content is word-spew’.

My blog often vomits out my ideas or my unintelligible first drafts. I am a bad mother in terms of the crap I fill my blog with when writing the first draft of my posts. This means giving her a good winding and getting all the hot air I’ve spouted out along with the uncomfortable words in a majestic belch of editing.

A good burp usually gets rid of the rubbishness.

Sleepless Nights

Blog Baby One-Year-Old - baby not sleepingMy blog likes to keep the writing kid company at night by waking me up with ‘All the Great Ideas in the World’ TM. She’ll nap throughout most of the day but as soon as she sees so much as a one of my eyelids closing she’ll start bawling out the ideas.

I’ve tried sticking earplugs in but she has a way of worming her way into my brain. It is only when I haul myself out of bed and give her some attention by jotting the idea down that she will finally shut up. Then the writing kid starts crying for attention. Pass the tranquilisers.

Repetitiveness

Dare I say it? Don’t mind if I do. Babies can be boring.

They don’t do much sometimes do they? They like repetition which I find incredibly tedious. When I consider how many times I have played endless rounds of Peek-a-Boo with other people’s kids I feel like handing their parents an invoice for getting that portion of my life back.

Blogs thankfully hate repetition. They beg you not to write a post that is very similar to one you published months ago. They remind you that you have already written about that topic. Thank goodness they don’t love repetition because blog death would definitely become a thing.

First Smile and Laughing

Blog Baby One-Year-Old - smiling babyWhen your blog first smiles at you it’s a magical thing. It comes in the form of a warm glow when you know you’ve finally written a post that’s actually quite good.

You’ve been trying to tickle and cajole your creation into laughing but it isn’t giving up the goods. You plough on with mediocre blog posts in the beginning to get its attention until BAM! here comes the first smile. Your blog loves what you did with it.

Laughter is harder to come by. When your blog first gets those lovely comments from the faithful few who follow it from the beginning it raises more of a cautious smile.

Then it sees from further comments that others beyond the blogger’s husband and cat are reading it.

Strangers are commenting how much they like the posts. Time for a good old fit of the hysterics at finally getting it right. Everyone loves positive feedback. Giggling blogs are the best for providing this.

Eating Solids

Weaning is a messy and occasionally difficult process from what I’ve been told. It’s no different with your blog.

When I wrote my first serious post about going through depression it was so incredibly hard: The Enemy Strikes Back and Then Some…

I was telling the world, or at least a few people who read my blog, that I had depression, I was struggling and that I was basically falling apart. That’s some pretty painful weaning from writing light and occasionally fluffy pieces.

Thankfully getting on the solids of writing about real life badness did my blog no harm. We got such a warm and loving reception from readers. We felt that we could do more of a varied diet of writing type stuff along with life issues that people may want to know more about or need to know someone else is going through.

I’m so glad that our feeding schedule has coincided with yours, dear readers.

Teething

Blog Baby One-Year-Old - teething babyMy blog is a little biter. It wants to get its new-found teeth into everything, even the stuff it shouldn’t. It has been told many a time that we don’t write lifestyle pieces or fashion. I’ve talked it down by explaining that I’m no life coach and my fashion sense is most definitely not where the cool kids are.

My blog loves to nibble on new ideas. It’s got some sharp teethy pegs on it though but I love how it won’t let go. I like giving it ideas to latch on to and watching how it gnaws away at them. We could do without the drool but there are editing cloths to wipe up that mess.

Crawling

Once a little one starts crawling your world changes. Everything has to be baby-proofed and you have to view the world through the eyes of a small being to guess what they will try to destroy or eat. My blog is similar.

We are now walking but I remember the crawling stages of trying to perceive the world through my errant creation’s eyes. It had to be reined in when it got a little too big for its boots in thinking that statistics meant everything. I locked up the Stats Cupboard and since then neither of us gives a monkey’s about all that tedious daily looking at how many people read the posts etc etc.

I have taught my blog that just because other kids like stats doesn’t mean that they are odd if they don’t. My kid is learning that different is fine. There is plenty of room in the Blogosphere for the odd-bod, slightly smaller blogging kids too.

First Words

Usually a baby’s first words come further down the line. This is where a blog is unique. They learn to form words first. They may babble a bit at the beginning and be somewhat incoherent but they do it with fully-formed words.

I guess this is where I finally get to be that really annoying over-achieving obsessed parent when I say to those of you with real life offspring, my ‘kid’ is better than your kid.

Myblog is only one and is very chatty. Possibly a little too wordy sometimes, but to me, the creator who didn’t even know she could do this writing thing just over a year ago, it’s music to my eyes and ears.

The Blog Baby and I Thank You!

Blog Baby One-Year-Old - thank you and goodnight babyThank you to those of you who signed up to this right from the start, particularly friends and family. You helped me to keep going and not to put my blog up for adoption.

Thank you to those who hopped on to this blogging ride along the way, whether you stay on the blogging bus or jump on and off, we love you for it.

Thank you to those who share and comment on my blog posts. Everyone wants the world to know how wonderful their offspring is. Thanks for showing off mine on social media and with your friends. Thank you for cooing at my blog in your comments and advising how I can make its lifer even better.

Thank you overall to the husband. He is my encourager, supporter, and the ear for all the wailing writer issues that arise. This blog would never have got off the ground or continue without him.

Here’s to another year, or hopefully more if I can work out how to keep this blog in check.

About Lisa Sell

Lisa Sell is a fiction writer and blogger. When not wrestling with words she can be found showing the love for chocolate, cheese, coffee, the cat, and the Husband. Not particularly in that order.

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