Time to get excited! It’s Feegle the cat here, back with my first post of 2018 for ‘The Feegle Cat Chronicles’.
Unfortunately it’s the Chinese year of the dog. Humph. Forget those rubbish canines. Be more like a cat.
Here’s how to live a purrfect life.
Why You Should Live Like a Cat
1.You can sleep all day and it’s expected. No judgement for epic kipping.
2. You can ignore visitors and they think it’s quirky. When humans ignore visitors they’re ‘miserable gits’, so they tell me.
3. You can unashamedly show off your bum hole and no-one thinks you’re a weirdo.
4. You have cat slaves who will pander to your every whim. Cat lovers are strange but faithful.
5. You can steal most of the bed and no-one dares to move you. You’re just cute.
6. You decide when you want to be sociable. The world lives by your social clock.
7. Catnip is a legal drug and it’s the bomb.
8. It’s amusing watching humans trying to engage you in a game you can’t be bothered to play. Kudos for their stamina in waving cat toys around though.
9. You’re easy to please for entertainment. An empty box is party central.
10. You are fed continuously. Enough said.
11. Bringing in dead animals is seen as part of your nature. Half dead animals dropped on human feet is very funny.
12. Writers think you’re a necessity. We will never die out as a favoured writing companion.
13. The internet would die without us.
14. The human need to photo and video our every move makes us indispensable.
We are spoilt rotten and make no apologies for it.
15. Our exercise consists of having a stretch every now and again and contorting our body into strange positions.
16. Stress? What’s that?
17. We’re constantly having adventures getting into spaces you humans will never fit into.
18. You may be an animal but you get all the benefits of being a human. You are one of the family.
19. Humans are pushovers for cats. One yearning look and anything is ours.
20. Strokes and fusses are provided on demand.
21. We get in the way and it’s seen as cute.
22. All human food is ours as well as our own cat food.
23. Dinner time is when we decide.
24. Humans are our sofas, chairs, and beds. It doesn’t matter what they’re trying to do, no human moves when they’ve been catted.
25. We do weird things and you think it’s funny. When you act strangely, you get sent to a head doctor.
26. We get to write blog posts because we’re freaking amazing.