Every time I sit down to write I make sure my cape is fastened and my undies are nicely fitted over my sparkly tights.
Okay, that’s a lie. I’m usually in my PJs but that’s only because knickers over tights cause wedgies.
Writers are superheroes. The feat of writing makes us masters of the universe (see what I did there?) We are marvels (oh, I’m on fire today).
I’ve run out of puns.
Women writers are Amazonian-type, kick-ass goddesses.
I salute you, fellow female writers.
I’m glad we’re no longer living in an era where we have to hide our sex under male pseudonyms, although there are still genres that are male-centric.
Every female writing community I’ve encountered or been part of is full of women, bigging each other up and sharing the love.
You are all wonders.
I’m not leaving the blokes out. You’re super too.
Not easy for you to publish romance novels with a male name, eh?
I’m sure you have manly groups where you do blokish things to celebrate being male and writers. I haven’t a clue what.
I have breasts, sorry.
You wouldn’t like a writer when they’re angry.
When the writing isn’t going well, I can give the Hulk a run for his money.
On the hundredth billionth draft I transcend green and turn bogey-tinged puce. The writing agony courses my veins and makes me roar.
Even the Hulk would poop his pants seeing me on a crappy writing day.
Sarcasm is our fuel. If I don’t take the piss out of life, I’ll just curl up and die.
Snark is in my DNA.
Writers need snark.
It’s how we deal with the trolls who try to defeat us with scathing reviews and nasty comments on social media.
Witty repartee helps us to write rip-roaring yarns.
A vast set of expletives lessen the pain of reading our first drafts or dealing with writer’s block.
Potty mouths save writers’ lives.
There are days when we cannot word and wish the world would understand what we’re trying to say.
Writers are jealous of Groot. He can say the same phrase and make it change meaning each time.
Groot is our thesaurus brain. When we want to mix our words up and try something flowery, he reminds us that simple works better.
We are Groot.
Batman is the introverted writer. He does what he has to. Goes out if he really needs to. Otherwise, he hides away and tries to ignore the telephone or the bat signal.
He is also our hidden extroverted alter-ego.
As Bruce Wayne, he is gregarious and social.
Introverted writers harbour their inner Bruce Wayne. We let him come out to play in our writing.
Actually attending parties is a step too far.
He scales magnificent heights. So do we, every time we finish a draft.
At the end of each mammoth revising session we’ve been to a multitude of places, inhabited many characters’ heads, and scaled towers of words.
We eject tricky webs from our fingers of weird sentences and incomprehensible paragraphs.
We untangle them, thread by tedious thread.
No-one slashes better than a writer in editing mode.
We cut all the things.
As a woman of many talents, she personifies all the amazing women out there doing the jobs of raising kids, keeping their homes remotely habitable (not that I’m saying that’s a woman’s job), and often having jobs outside the home.
On top of that, they write, publish, market, and promote their work.
Ladies, stick your metaphorical black leather on (or the real stuff if you prefer) and show the world your skills.
Forget a thick skin, writers need armour.
We face negative reviews, endless rejections, self-doubt, and imposter syndrome.
Having an iron-coated outfit is integral for our survival.
We are also good at ejecting ourselves, as if we have jetpacks in our feet, from writing when procrastination beckons.
We’ll take a side order of Tony Stark’s wealth to boot as well, please.
She-Ra and He-Man
A great duo for showing how male and female writers can work together.
We are not each other’s competition.
We don’t have to fight against each other.
We can be twin superheroes, brandishing our sword-like pens, and fighting battle with the keyboard.
Embrace Your Inner Superhero
Get the lycra out, flex your biceps, and sport your tightest underpants.
Leap tall buildings and blow stuff up.
Slay villains and save the world.
Or, you know, just write.