It’s time for another instalment of the Feegle Cat Chronicles, you lucky humans. This time I’m teaching you how to be a great mentor.
You may find yourself in a position where you have to teach others how to do things you’re better at. As a cat, of course, I’m the best at everything anyway.
Since Wullie rocked up I’ve taken the little fella under my paw. It’s a tiring job but I’m selfless like that. Here’s what I’ve learnt from mentoring that pesky kitten.
Always make your student aware of who is boss. Do not blur the lines and allow them to think they know as much as you.
Wullie had been getting too big for his (Puss in) boots recently. I find a few swats and sitting on him soon shows him how things work around here. Be careful doing this if you’re human though. I think the police don’t like it much.
Wullie knows we can be friends outside schooling moments. I love that little one, just don’t tell him.
When kitty cat school is in session though, it’s all business. Wullie is expected to stand to attention, tail sharp, ears alert, and whiskers on point.
I know it’s hard when your student keeps getting it wrong but try your best to be encouraging. Fake it if you have to.
I give the occasional purr to fool Wullie into thinking he’s doing well. It kills me to express satisfaction when I’m not feeling it but it motivates that little ball of fluff.
It’s kind of cute watching Wullie try to do the things I do. Now he’s getting bigger he can reach the higher places I once used to hide from him. While I’m proud of his progress, it’s doing my head in.
What’s a cat got to do to have some peace around here?
Respect Personal Space
Wullie is a pain in the bum when I’m chilling or trying to have a kip. He adores me and wants to be wherever I am, which is perfectly understandable. It has been causing problems though.
Cat naps are sacred. I’m teaching the kid to respect my napping space, usually via the medium of a hiss and a chewed ear. The problem is he then thinks I’m playing.
I’m not too proud to ask for human intervention. Let the cat slaves move the little sausage away from me. They decided to get a second cat, after all.
If your errant student is getting totally out of hand I recommend a chew of their limbs, holding their head under a firm paw or if all else fails, hiding in a cupboard.
I understand you humans tend not to use physical punishments unless you’re nasty, so I’d recommend perfecting the cat death stare. Cool, dead eyes of doom will make your student quiver.
For extra effect push your ears back to express your annoyance. Pin them back if you need to.
Teach Good Manners
Your student is a reflection on you. If they behave badly it makes you look like you’re a rubbish teacher.
I am currently having words with Wullie about his flatulence. I am a lady who would never dream of passing wind in public. Unfortunately Wullie doesn’t understand that trumping isn’t acceptable.
The humans obviously don’t like it either. I’ve heard references to the ‘cat arse stench of death’ and ‘that is rank’.
After watching the cat slaves gag after a particularly noxious burst of Wullie gas, I decided we have to work on this.
From now on Wullie needs to leave the room before he farts. If he cannot do this I will just have to go with my second option of inserting a cork in his backside.
I have succeeded in getting Wullie to stop chewing wires.
I started feeling sorry for the humans when it looked like every wire was Wullie’s personal teething ring. He even tried to pin it on me with leaving bits of chewed up wire next to me when I was sleeping. I smoothed it over by pointing a paw at Wullie when the humans found it. I tried not to laugh when he scarpered.
Kittens can try the patience of a saint. I refuse to believe I was ever as hoppity as Wullie was.
Unless that kid is snoozing, he’s like the Duracell bunny. I tried to find his ‘off’ switch the other day but the factory that made him seem to have forgotten to add one.
Bouncy kittens who want to play all the time require a lot of patience. Eye rolling is definitely a thing in our house, especially when Wullie has been dashing around the house without a break for twenty minutes. We usually just clear a path and watch him go.
I know that one day Wullie will slow down and be more mature like me. I am waiting for that day, believe me.
Teaching and learning don’t have to be boring.
Before Wullie came along I confess I was getting a little stuck in my ways. My days mainly consisted of sleeping, the occasional scoff, and some belly rubs.
Since this crazy cat appeared life has become more fun. We dart around the house, chasing each other. I get to chew another living being without being told off.
He’s given me a new lease of life and reignited the kitten in me.
I am still the boss and older sister but I’m also another cat, playing with a fellow cat.
Humans are great sometimes but you need other cats around to just be more cat.
Learn from Your Student
I will deny it if you ever tell him but I’ve learnt many things from Wullie. Here are some:
- Kittens are both amazing and exhausting.
- A cat can eat its own body weight in food in one sitting.
- Being fluffy makes you naturally cute, even if you’re a little git.
- A cat buddy is a friend for life.
- Two cats basically dominate the household. We allow the humans to live with us because we haven’t mastered the art of shopping for treats yet.
- Everyone needs a friend.
Over to You
Have you ever mentored someone? How did it go?
Have you been mentored? How did you find it?
Do you have cats who mentor each other?
How cute am I? The only acceptable answers are those that offer high praise and don’mention Wullie. That kid hogs my limelight enough already.