Feegle the cat here. I’m back with another post for The Feegle Cat Chronicles.
Today we will be looking at that horrible rejection business and how to deal with it, cat style.
Cat Slave #1 has been facing rejection from agents now she’s sent her book thingy off to them. I’ve been making her feel better by allowing her to give me more belly rubs than usual. I’m so selfless.
How to Deal with Rejection
1.Fuss your cat more than usual. Apparently stroking a cat releases human chemical things that make you feel all gooey inside. A happy cat also means you won’t be stressed out by demands for more attention and food, although there are no guarantees. Because. Cat.
2. When I feel rejected I literally stick my bum hole in the face of those who reject me. This may prove more tricky for a human so I recommend sticking a finger up instead.
3. Be cute. People tend not to reject you in the first instance if you’re cute. People are fickle.
4. Grow your body hair so you’re furry. People will want to stroke you, rather than reject you. This may be awkward in terms of strangers touching you. You will also need to shower a lot as I don’t think humans are very good at spit washes.
5. Always give the huge cat eyes of adorableness before a person has a chance to make a decision. They will be putty or purry in your hands.
6. Tell them you’ve got independents to support and their rejection means you will not be able to provide. Now I’ve got my little brother, Wullie, around I like to wheel him out on occasion for this scam.
7. Style rejection out by perfecting your flounce. Cats do this better as we have four legs to flounce on, with the added swish of a tail.
8. Make a noise until they give in. Incessant meowing always makes things happen in my life. Try it.
9. Forgive and don’t hold grudges. I’m not stupid enough to have the hump with my humans. I know who feeds me.
10. Move on. When a human refuses to fuss me, I move on to another one who will. The monster who doesn’t like cats is soon forgotten.
11. Try again. When the sofa rejects me by allowing me to fall off in mid-roll, I don’t quit. I jump back on that pesky thing and show it who’s boss, mainly by sleeping on it.
12. On that note, sleep it off. A few days’ worth of sleep will help the pain of rejection to disappear.
13. Eat. Eat some more. Eat a little bit more to be sure.
14. I’ve heard of skanky cats who poop in places they shouldn’t to show their annoyance. I’d never do this. My litter tray is my sanctuary. Maybe though if you crap on the doorstep of the person who rejected you, you might feel better. I don’t know. Don’t blame me if it goes wrong or you get arrested.
15. Take time out to make yourself look fabulous. I always find after an intense grooming session I feel amazing. I’d recommend you go to a professional though. Sometimes the hairballs are hard work.
16. Blame your rejection on someone else. I like to allow Wullie to take the blame whenever we’re in trouble. He’s too young and dumb to realise what I’m doing.
17. Work your anger off. I find a good dash around the house for five minutes each day is ample enough for working off the energy.
18. Get your claws out. Grab a photo of the person who rejected you and scratch it to smithereens.
19. Purr it away. Use it as your mantra or hum those bad feelings away. You’ll look silly but it will take your mind off things.
20. Pretend it didn’t happen. I confess I’m not really sure what rejection is. I’ve never been rejected. Because. Cat. I’m writing this post because you like the photos.
Over to You
How do you deal with rejection?
How does your cat help you to deal with rejection?
How fabulous am I?