Fed up of being peddled rules for writers that put the pressure on? Perplexed by how these rules ever got made? You’re not alone.
Join the rebellious writers revolution by following these non-rules, or don’t. Go your own way as Fleetwood Mac advocate.
To be fair, some of these non-rules are ridiculous but you expected that from me, right?
Non-Rules for Rebellious Writers
1.Don’t write every day. Take a break when you need one and come back refreshed. The world will not explode if you’re not writing.
2. Don’t get a cat. Adopt something exotic or weird instead. At least a llama won’t sit on your laptop.
3. Don’t bleed over your typewriter. Just don’t bleed. It’s messy and slippery.
4. Write the ending first. Be rebellious in giving yourself a spoiler.
5. Don’t be a plotter or a pantser. Use telepathy instead.
6. Do not promote your book every available second on social media. Just don’t. We’ve had enough of your book cover dominating our feed.
7. Put the worst possible cover on your book you can find. Be famous for having the worst cover ever and make millions from strange people who buy rubbish things.
8. Don’t bother revising your novel. Stick with the first draft and live in an ignorant bliss bubble .
9. Don’t publish. Enjoy writing for its own sake and never have to deal with criticism. This is a perfectly valid and non-snarky option, by the way.
10. Don’t start writing. Keep it all in your head but be aware that you’ll probably combust at some point.
11. Don’t read. Protect yourself from writers who are amazing.
12. Do not worship Stephen King as a god and the only authority on writing.
13. Burn your copy of On Writing by Stephen King.
14. Resist the allure of recommendations for writing books. Save yourself a fortune.
15. Walk past bookshops and libraries. Never enter them. They breed readers and writers.
16. Do not discuss writing with anyone. Pretend it’s not happening.
17. Avoid social media writing groups.
18. Do not engage with fellow writers. They are a strange tribe who will warp your mind and feed your obsession.
19. Laugh at the 3 a.m. writing ideas and refuse to give in to their wily ways when they taunt you that you’ll forget them in the morning. Nothing that interrupts sleep deserves that level of recognition.
20. Don’t bother editing your novel. Know you’re doing your bit to entertain readers by playing ‘spot the gobbledygook’.
21. Never procrastinate. Write every second of the day.
22. Don’t tell anyone your novel is being published. Enjoy not having to peddle your wares or be open to bad reviews.
23. Follow every piece of writing advice given by every single person who purports to be a writer. They may not make you a better writer but you’ll certainly learn about discernment.
24. Do not read blog posts about how not to follow writing rules. Go your own way. Have Fleetwood Mac ear worms until the end of time.
Over to You
Are you a rebellious writer? What ‘rules’ do you love to break?
What do you think about writing ‘rules’? Do they have a place in your writing life or not?